Daddy got to see the everyday things.
At the start of the pandemic in March 2020 Daddy got furloughed for 12 weeks and during that time he had chance to witness all the 'small' things that I get to see all the time. There was one moment in particular that shows how much Daddy misses when he's at work. We'd been potty training Iris prior to lockdown and she was using the potty successfully. Whilst we were playing upstairs Iris got her step stool and popped herself on the big toilet for a wee. Daddy was watching in amazement. I'd seen her do it so many times it had become normal for me but for Daddy it was the first time and it was wonderful to watch him fill with pride. I learnt in those first few weeks that I'm lucky I get to spend so much time with Iris and don't miss out on these things.
I learnt to appreciate what I have.
I'm not an ungrateful person by any means but I am guilty of taking things for granted, particularly my home. Our house has been such a big renovation that at the start of lockdown I felt resentful towards it. It felt like a weight around my neck. I was tired of the work and drained by my search for perfection. Being confined to the house for so long has been hard but it's forced me to really look at our house. It's a solid roof over our heads, it's affordable and we've been lucky enough to renovate it how we want. We've had the finances to do some big jobs throughout lockdown and we've ticked some things off the 'to do' list but more than anything I'm thankful for our garden. I've felt so lucky that we have such a good outside space for Iris to play in. Lockdown would have been so much harder without a safe outside space.
I love the things I hate....
I've always thought of myself as an antisocial person. I like my own company and I imagined I would thoroughly enjoy a lockdown situation but I've found myself missing things I never thought I would. Playgroups and classes have always been incredibly difficult for me. My anxiety spikes, I sweat, I shake and I generally hate the feeling the whole time I am there and can't wait to get out but now it's been taken away I actually miss it, not for me but for Iris. I see how important it is for her to interact with other children, how much she learns, how much she engages with her teacher. I also miss how much of a break it gives me even if I am sat alone at the side lines praying for it to be over.
....I hate the things I love.
Prior to lockdown you would find me in Ikea or B&Q. I would spend every second of child free time finding something for a job around the house. I'd get everything prepared but then run out of time to finish the actual job. Having to stay away from DIY stores has been an absolute blessing and even though both B&Q and Ikea have been open a while I haven't been spending time in either one. Staying home and using the time I would spend shopping finishing jobs and enjoying down time with my family has made me so much happier and I hope to have the will power to keep it this way.
I know who my real friends are.
Lockdown helped me evaluate my friendships and discover who my true friends are. The ones who message to check your okay. The ones who drop random baked goods by the front door and the ones who you've really, truly missed being around.
Overall lockdown has given me the chance to reflect on my life and how I use my time. It's helped me to work out what I enjoy, what adds value to my life and what drains me. It's shown me what activities are worth the time and effort and it's allowed us to spend 12 glorious weeks as a family, Daddy's seen the full scale of parenting- something he couldn't have done without lockdown and although it's been a truly horrific time for the world in general it has helped brighten our own personal world just a little.
Thanks For Reading,
Please see my sidebar for where this post maybe linked.
Our first lockdown was really great. Our second lockdown has been a real struggle. So we gained a lot in the forst lockdown. But the second, we just limped along.
ReplyDeleteAs for your friends comment - have you been dropping your friends baked goods? Have you been regularly checking in on them? It reads a little onesided. I sent a lot of people their xmas presents early and without any indication it was from me as a random mystery surprise (it was actually amazing how many people worked it out immediately) or posted letters and cards as a 'pick me up' but that was because it was what I thought would be nice for them, not because I expected anything in return. We all are sinking or swimming in our own way. I don't know if it's good to judge people who might be struggling themselves because they weren't looking out for us.This thing has been so tough on everyone, and some people don't want to admit they'restruggling. That's always worth remembering.
#KCACOLS
ReplyDeleteLike everything there will always be a negative and positive. I like this list and especially appreciate things a lot more since the pandemic for sure X #kcacols
ReplyDeleteIt's great to look at the positives! Lockdown helped me to self reflect so much. I've made so many positive changes! Thanks so much for joining us at #KCACOLS xx
ReplyDeleteDreadful as the lockdowns have been, you're right, there are some positives. My kids became extra close over lockdown - thankfully, as they had nobody else to play with! And my husband got to have breakfast with us all most mornings, something he probably did only once a month before lockdown. #KCACOLS
ReplyDeleteThis post rings very true. It definitely make you see what’s important. I had realised some of this before from full time travel. And the lockdown just reinforces my thoughts.
ReplyDelete#kcacols
These are great reflections, Katrina. I too felt the time my husband was furloughed was a mostly positive experience, as it brought us closer as a family. At the beginning of it I wasn't sure how we'd put up with spending ALL the time together, but as it turns out we didn't actually go crazy or try to kill each other off as I had feared we might, lol!
ReplyDeleteIt's also very true that it brought a real opportunity to reevaluate what things we *really* do like, and which ones we'd been spending time (and often money too) on because we *thought* they were important to us. Turns out the things we missed weren't always what we thought they would be.
The biggest positive for us, however, has been a stronger connection with nature, making sure we get outdoors together as a family on a pretty much daily basis. Sometimes just for a short walk, but it still feels like a very important part of our lives, which helps us connect better with each other too. I hope we'll keep it up during the darker parts of the year too, now that they are approaching x #KCACOLS
I also agree with Dad getting to experience all the day to day fun! We miss him now that he is back at work! #kcacols
ReplyDelete